


where noone has gone before

by navaan



Category: Smallville, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Amnesia, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Cultural Differences, Dimension Travel, Flirting, Hurt/Comfort, Legion of SuperHeroes - Freeform, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Memory Loss, Romance, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-10 20:12:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7859536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/navaan/pseuds/navaan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark learns that life as an alien on earth could have been different. That he falls in love on the way seems like a complication. But who said things had to ever be easy?</p>
            </blockquote>





	where noone has gone before

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Etnoe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etnoe/gifts).



Kal marveled at the ring on his right hand. The shapes on it were so familiar and yet still so strange to him: the angular shape that could be an L and the star or comet above it. He had spent weeks - nearly a month now - trying every library, every available data collection he could get access to. He wasn’t afraid that someone might find out what he was looking for - in fact he had hoped in the beginning that someone would just recognize the ring, the symbol or him and tell him who he was.

But so far he had come up with nothing.

There was no known organization, no planet, no nation, that used the symbol. And Kal had no name, just the faintest memory of someone crying out for him to be careful. “Be careful, Kal-e…” someone - a man - called out to him in the haunting traces of memory left to him, and that was all he remembered.

He’d taken the name, because it…. It didn’t sound right exactly, it sounded like the closest fit he could come up with. And because he had practically nothing else and people had to call him _something_. 

So far, everyone he met had been very helpful. Extremely helpful even. Kal didn’t rightfully know why that baffled him so much.

In his few weeks here he had been taken in without question, listened to by doctors and been assigned living quarters and he’d even decided on something to do for the time being. He had no idea why it appealed to him to work in a bar, but after a few days of watching customers and listening to their stories he realized, he _liked_ people, he _liked_ stories, he _liked_ to listen and figure out the details of what a single person was all about. In the evening when he was home he thought of some of the things he’d heard and made notes. He had no idea what for, but perhaps he was a writer. Perhaps this was just how his mind worked now and he needed to write down things to make connections. 

“You must be new here,” someone said and Kal turned to watch his newest costumer slip into his seat right across from where he was standing. 

He was human and that was not a given around here. Lots of Starfleet personnel came to this place, especially on weekends. And Kal had learned there were lots of races involved in the Federation, lots of races who were sending their own people to be educated and trained by Starfleet. The lady with the wide, completely black slanted eyes and slightly grayish skin at the table in the back was just one example for the humanoids of all shapes and sizes who came here every day.

Kal wasn't human and he had no idea how he had ended up on earth.

“I’m new, I suppose,” Kal admitted. The man who had spoken and was now smiling at him with a boyish smile and incredibly blue eyes was wearing a gray Starfleet dress uniform and despite his vivacious smile and the shining interest in the eyes, he looked tired. “Shore leave?” Kal guessed. “Or business?”

“A little bit of both,” the man admitted and folded his hands in front of himself on the counter. Kal identified the stripes on his sleeves as those of a captain.

“Ever been out there?” When he said it, it sounded merely curious and not like an empty pick-up line.

“I must have,” Kal said. “I just don’t remember.”

The man gave him a quizzical look and a lopsided smile and then very slowly said: “I had hoped for a drink and a bit of conversation. There is definitely a story there.” Apart from Phil who ran the bar and the people who checked in on him regularly to make sure he had settled in, nobody had ever really taken an interest in _his_ story. He wasn’t quite sure the handsome star ship captain was taking an actual interest either. Obviously the charmer was here to flirt and find someone to spend the rest of his shore leave with. But Kal had no-one. He had spent weeks pretty much on his own, waiting to hear from someone or be recognized or _remember_ himself. The interest made him feel less alone already. He was not really against a bit of casual flirting. It was better than sitting around in his empty and still unfamiliar home.

He smiled. “Then what about the drink?” he asked, because he had a feeling things were going to move fast tonight.

Tonight the ring on his finger was the only real reminder of the past that he had lost. He had no idea why he felt so awkward about not being human, but there was still this nagging voice at the back of his mind that told him to be careful. He waited for the man to order and then had his drink ready a second later. The man blinked, his smile growing a little more dazzled than before, eyed his Andorian Sunrise and then held out his hand. “James T. Kirk. And you are an alluring secret; one I didn’t think I would find right here back home on earth. I usually go out there,” he said and waved his hand around in a telling gesture, “to meet the unexpected.”

“You don’t seem to be complaining,” Kal said and smiled more broadly. 

“No,” Kirk admitted. “I’m very decidedly not complaining.”

* * *

They learned a lot about each other that night. Jim was delighted to find out that Kal could not get drunk. Kal was delighted to learn that Jim didn’t mind being swept off his feet in the most literal sense of the phrase. Not at all. Breathlessly he asked: “What are you? I've been manhandled by Vulcans, but you are not...”

“I don’t know. I really don’t. But the sun… My cells take in the power of the yellow sun. I'm pretty strong.”

“That is so amazing! All smiles and sunshine. Have you thought about what you could do with you strength alone?”

 _Jim_ smiled then and the warmth that flooded Kal had nothing to do with this planet's sun. He must have been kissed before, because he knew at least a little about what he was doing, but Jim’s soft mouth on his still felt new and exciting. He wanted to never forget the feeling.

The sex was even better than that.

* * *

He woke up a plea, a cry for help, some sort of unvoiced exclamation still on his lips. The dream that came to him almost every night was still there - and then the details escaped him as quickly has his consciousness took in reality. “Kal-El,” he whispered and only than realized he wasn’t alone.

Fingers drew lazy circles on his hip and Jim watched him lazily. “Good morning. You looked troubled.”

“I think I was remembering,” he blurted out. 

“I hoped I’d be memorable enough to be remembered,” his lover joked. But his eyes narrowed and he asked: “Do you want to talk about it?”

He shrugged. “It’s always the same dream. The light is strange. It feels like I’m running as fast as I can, but I’m not really moving. There is a lurch, a pull and people are calling out to me. I am Kal-El. I fall. That’s it.”

“Sounds confusing?”

“Yes,” he said and smiled. He had the briefest flash of a blond woman smiling at him. “See the future,” she whispered, but that made no sense to him.

To his relief Jim did not press it and they spent a lazy, terribly normal morning together.

When it was time for him to leave he watched him put on his sleek gray uniform, piece by piece and tried to commit it all to memory. At least this was something he could hold on to.

“Listen,” Jim muttered, after he had already said good-bye twice. He was standing in the doorway, half in and out of this apartment and presumably Kal’s life. “I have this friend… He’s Vulcan. He knows this… thing. He might be able to help with your memory. Help you remember where you’re from.”

It was a sweet thing to offer. “Why do you even care?”

His lover of one night looked shocked for a second. “Humans. We care. It’s a thing.”

He chuckled. “Good-bye, Jim. It was very nice to meet you.” It was the nicest out he could offer.

His handsome starship captain smiled, not exactly regretful, just accepting things for what they were. “And you, Kal. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

* * *

The next time Jim Kirk ended up in the bar, he was not wearing uniform and he looked terrible. A healing cut marred his cheek and his complexion was much too pale.

“Should you be drinking?” Kal couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit pleased to see the man again. He’d heard so much about what had happened at Starfleet HQ and the name James T. Kirk had been mentioned a couple of times on news holo.

“I day ago I was dead,” Jim said matter-of-factly. “No time like today.”

Kal couldn't argue with that. Not that he had intended to argue with the man he couldn't get out of his head.

“I woke up from death and I thought of you,” Jim whispered to him later that night, when they were in bed and he lay panting beneath him, enjoying the feel of giving up control to someone else. “There was so much to think about, but the only thing that came to mind was you.”

“I thought of you too.”

Jim did not whisper: “Good.” But the word was visible in his eyes.

* * *

They never really talked about commitments and Kal couldn’t even be sure that was what he wanted. He had a strange ring on his finger that reminded him every day that there might be a family and life out there that he just didn’t know about.

“Have you thought of joining Starfleet?”

It wasn’t the first time Jim asked that same question, while they’re snuggled up beneath the covers. 

“You might find some answers out there.”

“I can’t explain it. I know I’m not human. But I feel my place is here, like there is something I’m supposed to do here.”

“I saw the news about the space dock accident,” Jim said very slowly and Kal didn’t need any further questions. There had been an unseen fast entity there, saving people, stopping what could have been a much bigger disaster.

Although the statement hadn’t been phrased as a question, he nods, because Jim has earned the right to the truth. 

“Why don’t you just tell people?”

“Can you imagine what kind of life that would give me?”

“Have you thought about the fact that someone who knows you will find you that way? Other people like you, Kal. You’ve been waiting for so long to get some answers.”

Jim was often right. Kal still had no idea why the idea of stepping out into the light was so scary to him. It wasn’t like he had much to fear.

* * *

His first - or what he thought might be his first - trip into space had been arranged by Jim, of course. The Enterprise had started her five year mission a while back and had taken her captain to the far ends of known space. There was no opportunity for shore leave on earth and for more stolen moments in Kal’s small apartment.

Space, Kal realized, made him nervous. The dark depth reminded him too much of the vast unknown that was his own life. He made it to Antarios VII without incident anyway and three whole standard days before the Enterprise arrived. It was easy to pass the time in the hotel lobby, watching people from so many worlds mingle and communicate. There were even some Klingons. An abundance of color and sound. Despite his own unease he was thankful that Jim had made him come out here. 

He smiled when a man sat down beside him at the bar, while he was looking at the Klingon blood wine he hadn’t yet even dared to sip. 

“Fancy meeting you here, stranger,” Jim said and smiled.

“Is the captain supposed to be off his ship?”

“I can tell you that if I hadn’t left my ship, Bones would have thrown me off the Enterprise himself.” His grin as always was infectious and eased some of the worries. Jim dragged him out to the dance floor, then took him to a play in language his translator had trouble with. The next morning Jim left to check in on the Enterprise and Kal joked softly that he was never going to win against that kind of competition. 

“She’s my lady,” Jim admitted. “And these people are my family. Doesn’t mean I can’t always come back for you.”

He spent his time waiting for Jim at another bar, watching the barkeeper's hands mix drinks he had never mixed or heard of in his life. Perhaps Jim had a point. It was time for Kal to take his own life in his hands and move forward.

“That’s a peculiar looking ring.” A young woman in red Starfleet uniform was sitting two chairs down to his left, watching his hands. 

He looked down at the symbols on the ring and then back at the nice looking Starfleet officer, with her dark skin and her big brown eyes. The eyes in particular seemed to stir a memory inside of him that was about to form and than dissipated into nothingness before he could catch it. “It wouldn’t happen to mean anything to you?”

“No,” she said slowly and frowned. “Should it?”

He laughed. “I wish I knew.”

A Vulcan walked up behind her and then Kal grinned, because there half-hidden behind the Vulcan was Jim again. “Uhura,” he greeted, nodding to the officer. “I see you already met my friend.” He gave the brightest smile to Kal. “This is Spock,” he introduced.

Kal had heard a lot about Jim’s first officer and hr looked much he had been described to him. He had hoped to also meet Bones today, because it seemed that he had the man to thank for Jim’s continued existence. 

“I thought perhaps the two of you could talk,” Jim said significantly, before slipping onto a bar stool beside Kal. “He might be able to help you.”

At this point Kal wasn’t sure he still wanted any help. Perhaps he wasn’t remembering, because this life was much better than anything he’d ever had. As much as the black void of non-memory scared him, as much did it scare him to think the life he’d had was something terrible that he had wanted to forget, something that would drive him away from Jim and the little life he had just made for himself.

“Okay,” he whispered finally, because he knew deep down that Kal-El or whatever his name was, wasn’t a coward. Because how would someone like Jim Kirk ever have found it in himself to care for him otherwise?

* * *

He sighed heavily, tried to clear his mind and quench the fear. It was no use. The nervous feeling in his gut was like an ugly monster that absolutely wanted to make itself know. A little voice at the back if his mind was telling him that he had nothing to fear, because even the strength of a Vulcan wasn’t enough to hold him. He was safe. Whatever he would find out today, it wouldn’t change who he was now, right?

The silence around him was a blessing and the unhurried motions of Spock finally helped him to settle down and breath more freely. 

“There is nothing to fear. There is no indication that this will help or make things worse. We can only try.”

“Right.” 

The warm and dry fingers of Spock settled on his face and then he felt like falling. Jim was at the forefront of his mind and there were memories of him that sprung up first,

_You care deeply for him._

They had never talked about it, had never said it. But he’d come out here to meet Jim and he wanted to be there again and again, whenever Kirk allowed it…

 _Sometimes words are not necessary,_ Spock’s bodiless voice drifted to him.

Then he probed deeper. He felt himself flinch. Suddenly there was pain and resistance and then a dark male voice speaking to him of legacy and Krypton and ruling the Earth together. _Kneel before me._

_No!_

_Jor-El._ His father.

 _Zod._ The man he’d met twice in a way. 

He fought, tried to keep the memories down, heard the voice cry “legacy” again and again in his mind, tried to forget the fear to be discovered and taken away… from his parents.

And then there he was in his mother’s arms, a crying boy who didn’t understand his strength yet, a young man helping his father on the farm, a child loved and protected by a loving couple. Like floodgate that opened suddenly it all came back all at once and he could _feel_ Spock gasp more than he heard him. It got too much. Chloe smiling at him. Lex standing over him, looking down the stairs to where he was looking up. Lana. Lois. Pete. Oliver. Bart. So many heroes. Smallville. Metropolis. Krypton.

He fell back, or Spock broke the contact. 

He was shaking.

The he realized, Jim was at his side. “Kal, Kal, are you okay?” When had he even entered the room?

“Clark,” he croaked and in suddenly the ring on his finger shone brighter and they weren’t alone in this little room anymore. Two women and a man were standing at the back of the room. He knew Imra immediately, he knew Rokk… and Kara.

“Clark,” she was beside him with one movement that only he could see at this speed and hugged him. “I’m so sorry!”

And he remembered. They had been attacked by Brainiac right when they had been ready to go to the future, so he could see the life Kara had made for herself with the Legion. And then he had hurtled through space that wasn’t space and… His eyes snapped up to meet Jim’s.

Oh boy.

He had never wanted his destiny, but now that he remembered… He needed to go home. People were counting on him to come home and help. He had a place to be and a responsibility to fight what his legacy had brought to earth.

But there was Jim.

He hadn’t even yet made the decision and it already hurt.

* * *

“So,” Jim asked, “you fell sideways through time and this isn’t really… your future?”

“I know how this sounds…” Clark started.

Jim laughed and waved a hand in front of himself. “Don’t look so serious. I only want to understand this. I’m a curious guy. And… stranger things have happened to me. There are two Spocks, you know. They are alike and yet not. Made by different worlds, that should have existed on the same timeline or something.”

He blinked and realized that he had seen an image like that in Spock’s mind when the floodgates had opened and the two of them had been overwhelmed. “You really _do_ understand.”

Like it was nothing worth mentioning Jim shrugged and smiled. He had his hands folded in front of him, like he did when he was thinking about something. 

“You need to go back?” he finally asked. “You are needed. And we both know that you want to do what’s right. I would.”

“You would.”

“Are you telling me you want to stay?”

He wanted nothing more and yet... “I want to. I can’t.”

Jim smiled, but there was true sadness in it ad understanding. He knew it was answered in his own smile. 

But they were both men who understood responsibility. There was no other choice.

Slow, but like a man who knew what he wanted and knew even better what he had to do, Jim got to his feet and walked around his desk to reach him. They did not hug, but the kiss said more than they were willing to put into words. “If you don’t find a way to come visit, I’ll come find you and drag your sorry ass back here, you hear me?”  
                                                                                                           
“Don’t worry. I’ll find _you_. See you around the galaxy, James T. Kirk.”

“Jim,” he corrected keeping his voice level, even though his heart was heavy. It was so like him.

* * *

The Enterprise was nearing the end of her 5 years mission. There were only a few earth months to go. And, of course, that was when Jim Kirk would choose to die crushed inside a Dilithium mine that was collapsing after an attack. He ducked, raised his hands to protect his head and muttered a prayer under his breath that Bones and Spock had managed it out to where Scotty could beam them up as rocks tumbled down all around him.

 _He_ grabbed him last second.

“Hi,” he said when they came to a halt, outside on the planet’s surface.

To his credit, Jim, dirty and dusty, did not even freeze, just took him in and started dusting off his uniform. “There you are. You do come in handy. I like the red and blue, by the way. The cape is a bit much.”

Superman laughed. This would be exactly the vacation he needed. And perhaps after, he could take Jim to see the sights of his own universe.


End file.
